Anyway, I'm home now, but I'm not out of the woods yet. Still not fully pleased with my mood, but I'm going to keep trying the drugs for a few more weeks and see how I do. At least I don't have god awful side effects... I do have some side effects, but so far, they've been reasonably manageable.
But now's the time when I need you all more than ever. Transitioning back to living at home and having to work on building a life worth living requires a lot of support, perhaps even more support than when I was in the crisis center. When I was there, I was assigned a therapist 24/7 to assist me whenever I needed assistance. It was quite the relief, not to mention quite helpful to have someone to talk to whenever I wanted, someone who I know was trained & knows what they're talking about. But now I don't have that support, and I know I'll miss it, as it's something I've always wanted anyway. So I really need the support of my friends. I need you all to check on me every now and then. I need you to invite me out to socialize with you, whether it's a party or just for a cup of tea. I need to know you're there if I need to talk or a shoulder to cry or or a hug.
I'm realizing that I can't keep operating as I did before, not trying to "burden" anyone, because it's part of what drove me to where I was. I have needs and it's time I start acknowledging them and I stop hiding them from my friends & society at large. If I don't start taking care of myself in that way, I'm going to wither again. I don't want to wither. I want to bloom. So I'm going to take care of myself in a way to promote that. But it means being honest with who I am and my needs to my friends and it might mean having to become more distant from people who can't accept me for who I am, for the mental illnesses I have, and for my needs.
So... yeah. That's where I am right now and where I'm going in the future. Come with me? Be my friend?
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