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(This is x-posted from lambdarising. I wrote an entry up for work and thought I'd post part of it here.)

Wednesday was Be:Bi @ Be Bar, the first officially sanctioned Bi Pride event at Capital Pride ever. It was the first time I ever saw the Bi Pride flag flown in DC by someone other than myself as a private individual. There were people of all ages. People who started the bi movement back in the day as well as some of our youngest bi-lings. (Is that a word? It is now.) There were plenty of bisexuals (of course), pansexuals, multisexuals, PoMosexuals and people who don't like labels but have affection/attraction to more than one gender, but there were also a number of open-minded gay men and lesbians, too. The bar was cozy and gracious and had FABULOUS drink specials. (I drank all night, as well as bought a drink or 2 for an attractive lady, for $12 + tip. Best drink specials ever.) The atmosphere was comfortable. Everyone talked to everyone. There were no uncomfortable barriers in the "hmm... can I hit on them? Are they the orientation that's attracted to people like me?" department... which REALLY put me (and I'll bet others as well) at ease. Flirting happened, but serious discussion about bisexuality and the bisexual movement happened, too. After people got a couple of drinks in them, the questions that monosexuals always wanted to ask bisexuals started coming out of peoples lips. And those bisexuals asked the monosexuals things that they had always wondered, too, but never had the courage to ask (or always had the tact NOT to ask). Greater understanding of sexual orientation was brought about over candy flavored martinis. Words were said to the crowd by Pride organizers and bisexual activists. (One of the activists taught us an old bi chant that I'd never heard before: "2, 4, 6, 10/ We love women, we love men! 1,3,5,8/ We also love to masturbate!" I think I know what I'm chanting at the Dyke March tomorrow. ;-))

Yeah, I got the digits of a lovely, intelligent young lady and a handsome & fun guy, but you know what? As awesome as that is for me, I don't think that's the best part of the experience. I think the best part really was the connection and the relaxation and lack of inhibition I felt (and that wasn't just the gummy bear martinis, I swear). I usually hate the bar scene, but I felt comfortable and at home in that environment. Comfortable enough that I could talk to strangers, get to know people, share my experiences as a bisexual woman/genderfluid person and learn from their experiences as bisexual men and women, and as monosexual men and women, too. Yes, it was a great time at the bar, and more than one person had too many drinks, and many people will probably get laid as a result of Wednesday, however, it's the connections that people made and and the greater understanding brought about between people that really shines to me. Because that's what Pride's all about.

I got promoted in my WoW guild! (The Velvet Harlots) I can now invite new members! I'm a "Recruit Captain"! Yay! Lots of exclamation points!

Went to Capital Pride Interfaith Service tonight. Sang the Fire part of the 4 part corners/element round the Faeries do. "Sun's Heat! Flames Leap! Intense! Attention to Intention." (I thought it was fitting for the way my life's been going lately.)

So instead of it being an interfaith service meaning a number of different Christian religions, we literally had one of every major and quite a few minor religions. We had a number of types of Christianity, a number of types of paganism, Judaism (they blew the shofar! w00t!), UUism, Buddhism, Islam (which was actually the first time I've heard the Koran read and have prayed a Muslim prayer. I want to learn more about Islam, especially their idea of submission before God/Allah. I'm curious how that would tie in with powerplay and kink.), Native American spirituality, African ancestor worship... everything.

I said "This is like speed dating, only of religions. 5 minutes with each religion, and what you liked, you can always go to their services later." It worked out VERY well, for there's a number of different services I want to check out now.

There was an amazing chorus at the event called Mosaic Harmony. During the social afterwards, a number of their members came up and complimented me on my voice. When I mentioned interest in possibly joining Mosaic Harmony, they seemed overjoyed. Qira of the Faeries also praised my voice, which really flattered me.

Tomorrow is Be:Bi at Be Bar, the first Bi Pride celebration I can ever remember them having. I'm going to be there if it means... well, I'm just going to be there. Eldritch wants me to bring my bi pride flag to let the organizer (it was his idea) have the bar fly from their flagpole. As I've always wanted to see the bi pride flag fly over DC, I'm very excited about this. I've already packed the flag.

I'm also excited because this should help with my nervousness in hitting on people. I mean, part of my nervousness is 1.) I don't accidentally want to hit on a straight woman or a gay man and 2.) lesbians just seem to have a different vibe than bi gals. So yeah... hopefully this will be the beginning of the bi movement again in DC. It's about fucking time.

Don't really know what else to say.

Oh! A number of the DC Rad Feys are going in the parade as the Diversity Ninjas. fritterfae will be a drag ninja, dmlaenker will be a leather ninja, jcruisedirector is going to be a ninja in a wheelchair (because of his foot he can't walk the entire route), potpourrifae is going to be a tranny ninja, and I've decided I'm going to be a dyke ninja. Yeah. This is going to ROCK.

A bunch of faeries are going to be in the Dyke March with us. I'm trying to figure out what I want my sign to say. I'm tired of going with "Bisexuals are Everywhere!" I'm thinking "Genderfluid Bisexual Kinky Non-Monogamous... and PROUD" or something like that. I'm also going to write "These are manboobies!" on my chest when I take my shirt off. Yay for genderfluidity and genderfuck! Yay for being a man with a womb! Yay for being me! :-D

Oh, yeah, Dyke March. Same time, same place as usual.

Saturday. 1 pm. Dupont Circle.

ALL are invited... dykes and their allies and friends and family and significant others... basically YOU! So come on out, even if you feel like you "don't belong". Because the fact of the matter is, if you support dykes (and I don't think anyone reading this journal DOESN'T), then you belong in the Dyke March.

I posted this entry in the store's LJ comm, lambdarising, and I liked it so much that I thought I'd paste it here.

BTW, check out the Human Rights Campaign Coming Out Project's Snapshot Project, which encourages people with the theme of this year's Coming Out Day: "Talk About It" and this wonderful brochure put out by HRC and PFLAG, the first of its kind, dedicated specifically to the needs of the straight families, friends and coworkers of GLBT people, called "A Straight Guide to GLBT Americans".

**********

So today's National Coming Out Day. It happens every October 11th, and it's a day not just for coming out but for raising awareness. You might say "but I've already come out!"... but have you come out to everyone? Or are you still switching pronouns of your partner when you're at work, or perhaps to that one conservative-minded friend of yours, your lover is your "roommate". Or maybe you've come out to one parent and not the other, or perhaps your grandparents don't know.

"But why is it any of their business?" you might ask. Well, the more we can put a human face on the movement, the more people will support us. They can't just think that GLBT folks are some strange people... they need to know that WE, their children, grandchildren, friends, coworkers, nephews, nieces, aunts, uncles, cousins, brothers, sisters... even husbands and wives... WE are GLBT. They already know us. They already know what kind of people we are. Now let's show them that WE are the faces of GLBT folks.

You may be thinking "This is all well and good, you writing this. But you're already out, you live in a liberal enclave, you have liberal friends, and you work at a GLBT bookstore. It's EASY for you to talk about this." Well then... let's make this personal.

Let's take my grandparents on my mom's side. Mema and Granddad, I call them. They love me to pieces and they're always telling me how proud of me they are. I'm their oldest grandkid and I'm their only granddaughter. I'm very fond of them. I mean, come on, they're my grandparents. I've got great memories from my entire life of having tea parties with Mema and her teaching me how to knit and sew and spin and weave (she's a highly accomplished fiber artisan). I've got memories of Granddad taking me on "dates" to Wendy's and showing me how to use his woodworking tools and telling me funny stories from World War II. I also have plenty of memories of listening to Rush Limbaugh with Granddad and us discussing politics together. That's right... both of my grandparents are right-wing conservatives. Because of Granddad teaching me conservative politics growing up, I feel actually lucky in that when I'm spreading my own liberalism, I actually know where conservatives are coming from. Unlike some liberals I know that were raised in liberal households, I can understand the concerns and the mindset of the right wing. (I just don't necessarily agree with them.) My grandparents know I'm a liberal, but they don't love me any less.

But I haven't come out to them yet. I'm finally at the point where I'm comfortable enough to do it, but they're really getting up in years (they're both in their 80s) and Mema is really starting to lose her hearing and I think it would be difficult to talk to her about it because of this.

I'll admit, the prospect of coming out to them is scary. I don't know how they'll take it. I don't want to make them angry, but even more, I don't want to lose their love and support. I think everyone has faced this when it comes to coming out to someone we care about. But I'm tired of hiding it from them. Not only that, I want Granddad to see that Rush Limbaugh has no idea what he's talking about when it comes to GLBT people. I want him to see that gays & lesbians and the like aren't just some strange people from far off places that have nothing in common with him. No... some GLBT people are "strange people" who just happen to be the granddaughter that he calls "Punkin' Head" and loves so much and is so very proud of.

So I'm going to come out to them. It won't be today... they live about 3 hours away and I want to do this in person, not on the telephone. But I'm going to do it. I'm going to come armed with some good books and pamphlets, and I'm going to read up on the kinds of questions that people have for someone when they first come out. Because I'm bisexual, I get some questions and statements that monosexual gays & lesbians don't get, and I'm going to need to prepare myself for those. (When I came out to my mom, she said "I could see if you were a lesbian. You couldn't help it. But you're bi. Why don't you choose to go out with just men, then?" She obviously didn't get it.)

So if I can come out to my grandfather, who adores Rush Limbaugh, you can come out to your family/friends/coworkers/plumber/whomever. Or if you've already come out to everyone, talk about it with people. Coming out is a life-long thing, not a one time event. Tell them the things that affect your life. Tell them the ways you feel slighted by our heterosexually oriented culture. Tell them what they can do to show their acceptance and support.

And I will tell my grandparents that I'm bi.

I've been mulling this around in my head for days, possibly even weeks now. I've been meaning to post on this for a while.

I have a problem when it comes to dating women. Let me rephrase that. I have a problem with dating women in this area. Or perhaps dating isn't the best phrase. Perhaps I should say FINDING women to date.( Keep Readin'! )

Edit: I'm a queer amongst queers. Somehow, this is fitting. This is appropriate. I've ALWAYS been a queer amongst queers, using the other definition of queer. I've never fit in, even when I'm with others that don't fit in, when I'm with alternative communities, communities of people that don't fit in, be they the geek community or the BDSM community or whatever. (Actually, with the geek community thing, I've figured out that I AM a geek, through and through {hell, it may be the one thing that I definately AM, when everything else, when all the other labels fall away}, but that I'm not JUST a [techie] geek... that there's more to me than that)

(Feedback on this is more than appreciated.)

I realized I never really sat down and wrote about my feelings for the women in my life. I've never really tried to put it in perspective for my friends.

My friends have always been wonderfully supportive of my bisexuality. Frankly, I think they know that if they're not comfortable with it, I'm not going to be their friend. They know I don't make friends with people who don't support me. However, this isn't giving them credit for their own fights against homophobia. My friends are supportive of me and my bisexuality because they believe that homophobia is wrong. I didn't have to turn them this way... they already were this way when I found them. When I see my friends wearing or putting the HRC logo on their car when I didn't even ask them to, or doing other things to show that they aren't homophobic and that they think homophobia is wrong, it makes me feel so good. To know that I'm not struggling alone and in vain. To know that there's these wonderful straight allies out there, fighting for me to have the same rights they do. Fighting for what's right even though they don't have to, even though it doesn't directly affect them.

Anyway, I was going to talk about same gender love, wasn't I?

You all know that I've loved 2 women in my life: overlord_mordax and orcinus_dorka. As a bisexual, I have the unique opportunity to know both sides of the love coin. And I can tell you, it really is the same. The feelings are the same. The heady rush of new love, the whole crush thing. The depth of emotion for those I really care about. The dating scene, the being nervous, the "does she like me or does she like me like me" thing... it's all the same. To those that say it's not. They're wrong. They're just simply wrong.

There are some differences though, at least for me. I'm far more comfortable around men than women. When attracting men, when trying to put the moves on them, so to speak, it's alot easier for me, I'm far more confident. I know what men like, I know what men want. I know how to be sexy, how to attract. Not average guys, but the geeks I go for. I'm a bit over the top, yes, but often times, that's an excusable thing when men are concerned.

Women are foreign territory to me. I want to let them know i'm interested in them, but I don't know how to do it w/o just telling them right out. I don't know how to flirt with women because I'm afraid that they won't be interested in me or that I'm coming on too hard. I don't know necessarily how to be me around women because I think women won't be attracted to me.

I like biwomen. You already knew that though, I bet. I like playing "the guy" with bi women. I like being courteous, I like pulling out a chair or taking their coat. If they're cold, I like offering them my coat. I like opening doors and holding out my arm to escort them. I love chivalry. Hell, I'll do this with my straight female friends if I'm in the mood... I just like being nice to pretty girls. But there's something about this formality that just makes me feel really good inside. Apparently, it becomes me, because I've been told so by both overlord_mordax and orcinus_dorka. With women, I can let this side of me out, the more masculine side, the side of me that's attracted to women, that thinks they're something special, that thinks you should treat women right. With guys, my male energy gets channeled more into being a tomboy female. Except sometimes when I feel like being a guy, and I'm with guys who aren't attracted to guys, then it kinda has nowhere to go.

...I really *do* feel bigendered.

I don't think I really had a point to this LJ post. I just wanted to write this down. And maybe give my straight friends a peek inside the world of being queer. Frankly, I think it just gives me more eyecandy to look at. Unfortunately, whereas most opposite sex lovers can look at eyecandy and pretty much know that what they're looking at is most likely attracted to their gender (the whole 10% thing), when I look at girls, unless they look dykey or I'm in an area with a very large queer population, often times I know that I could probably only look.

Yeah... ok, this post is crappy.

God, it's been a relatively crappy 24 hours.

First, people go all cynical and mean on an RP character of mine that I just introduced and that means alot to me. They just lambast her and tear her apart. Gah.

Then, dA takes all my icons made from comics down ("copyright violation", even though I gave full credit to Marvel for the original art), but only tells me about *3*. I have no idea what other ones they got rid of. I wish they'd tell me so I could make sure they're up on ScrapBook.

Then, some new person in the fandom writes me back, supporting mpreg and looking at it from a reasonable, logical perspective. On how men getting pregnant might affect the prolife/prochoice debate, blah blah blah. I'm like *facepalm*. No. You don't get it. Mpreg is an utter offense to humanity. Don't try to compare it to slash. There's nothing wrong with gay people. But men can NOT get pregnant. If you want to do it, fine, just go do it in some other fandom. Some other fandom where I won't have to see it.

Some people have no respect for the "sanctity" of canon, I swear.

( more fandom rantage and a list of things that shouldn't be allowed in the Ock fandom )

And then the same person gives me this (obviously uninformed) rant on "oh, artists work so hard on their work, blah blah blah, if you don't like dA's laws go somewhere else... blah blah blah". It's like "ok, if you want to be a goody goody little butt kissing 14 year old who doesn't understand that the world isn't black and white, fine... just go do it somewhere else that isn't anywhere near me. What I did when I made the icons hurt noone. It didn't cost anyone anything. There is no revenue lost because of what I did. In fact, there's probably MORE revenue through my promotion of the works. So there's no reason that this should be against copyright law. But you can't see that, can you? You just don't get the concept of "fair use", do you? You probably suppport DRM wholeheartedly. Or, rather, you've probably never heard these terms before, but you're still siding with The Man. Open your little mind."

And as for the dA thing, the only reason I'm on there is because everyone else is. I hate dA. They've been on my shitlist for a while. They are lacking some crucial features that other services offer (like the ability to edit or delete comments), their naming system SUCKS (FAR too few characters are allowed. I'm often times crippled in my naming of pieces because of this), to be able to browse in any useful manner or to view comments made usefully you have to get the pay service, they're CLOSED source, and when you post your art on there, they retain FAR too many rights to use it. And then the copyright thing. I mean, we don't have the permission of Marvel to use the characters in fanfic and fanart, and yet they don't take the pieces down when we do that...

And I wasn't able to get groceries today. (Getting them tomorrow... must remember to make shopping list. Also must remember to deposit roomie's bill check.) And I burned the peanut sauce I tried to make at dinner, which didn't really turn out right.

And Groupie and I fought some. And I got really depressed at one point.

*Sigh* I hope tomorrow turns out better.

On a positive note, talked to orcinus_dorka. We did some phone sex. It was fun.
Talked to silversehkmet... I'm making icons of her Boy Genius peeps for her to use on her site.
Also talked to nvis_derentacle. She's FINALLY finishing up a fic she's been working on for ages. Which makes me excited, because I want to know how it ends. It's a very cool fic.

I am the guy who came out to the entire school in his senior speech and got a standing ovation for his courage.

I am the girl who kisses her girlfriend on the sidewalk and laughs at those who glare.

We are the couple who planned and studied and got a damn good lawyer and BEAT the state that wanted to take our child away.

We are the ones who took martial arts classes and carry pepper spray and are just too dangerous to gay bash.

I am the transgender person who uses the bathroom that suits me, and demands that any complaining staff explain their complaint to my face in front of the entire restaurant — and shares with my other trans friends which restaurants don't raise a stink.

I am the mother who told her lesbian daughter to invite her girlfriend over for dinner.

I am the father who punished his son for calling you a fag.

I am the preacher who told my congregation that love, not hate, is the definition of a true follower of God.

I am the girl who did not learn the meaning of "homosexual" until high school but never thought to question why two men might be kissing.

I am the girl who has a comic on the web involving a gay relationship, and refuses to put a 'disclaimer' on the site because those who choose to be offended by that deserve to be.

I am the woman who argues (quite loudly and vehemently) with the bigots who insist that you do not have the right to marry or raise children.

We are the high school class who agrees, unanimously, along with our teacher, that love should be all that matters.

If you agree, repost this. Do it. You don't have to be afraid. You can handle it. You're stronger than you think.

I am making a difference. Hate will not win.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/perspective/19263440/in/set-449909/ = me and a friend of mine. She's got a great smile and great tits.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/perspective/19306854/in/set-449909/ = rob_t_firefly and myself. Behind rob_t_firefly to the left is asciilifeform, and behind my sign is Friend's head.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/jillyfish16/19197690/in/set-451241/ = (left to right) Friend's sexy behind, rob_t_firefly's ugly mug (JK!), and my fat ass
http://www.flickr.com/photos/jillyfish16/19198020/in/set-451241/ = (left to right again) asciilifeform, rob_t_firefly, me (with my Bisexuals Are Everywhere! sign [psst! if you take the big version, you can see my note at the bottom about also marching for Aline and Elizabeth, which is one of the people I RP with. :-D]) and Friend's pretty head
http://www.flickr.com/photos/jillyfish16/19198283/in/set-451241/ = potpourrifae, and my housemates jeanne_d_arc and anthropologia, who really ARE cute weirdos. :-D

Oh, and the girls holding hands on the left side of my sign, the ones saying "Don't assume we're lesbians!" are supposed to be myself and orcinus_dorka. We're going to march hand in fucking hand in the Gay Pride parade in Paris on the 28th. :-D

Dyke March & Pride Parade went good.

Pride Parade was 2x as long as last years. It was hell when it came to walking.

Too tired to type up much else. I have a couple of pictures that Rob took that we'll post later.

Would anyone out there like to be represented on my sign for the Dyke March? It says "Bisexuals Are Everywhere!" and I'm going to put, in small letters: "Also marching for (name, location), (name, location)". It doesn't have to be your real name... would anyone like their name put on my sign?

Saturday, 1 pm, Dupont Circle (in the circle)

DYKE MARCH!

All dykes (of whatever the fuck persuasion), families of dykes, friends of dykes, and supporters of dykes are invited to attend. The theme of this march is diversity, so we want everything from lipstick lesbians to MTFs to FTMs to stone butch dykes to kinky bi-dykes (like me!) to dykes with bikes to soccer mom dykes. And their girlfriends, boyfriends, parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, friends, SOs, kids, grandkids, neices, nephews, and godchildren.


Basically... YOU!


I'll be there, along with trinityva, potpourrifae, and perhaps jeanne_d_arc and anthropologia.

For more info... http://www.geocities.com/dcdykemarch/ (or, if it's still exceeded it's allotted data transfer, Google's cache of it at http://64.233.161.104/search?q=cache:22iruKLilSkJ:www.geocities.com/dcdykemarch/+DC+Dyke+March&hl=en&client=firefox )