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I apologize to the people I actually fooled in my last post. I wanted to make it blatantly "not me" enough that you wouldn't actually fool with it. However, the well wishes I received are still sweet and wonderful and I'll still apply them to the relationship I DO have. :-)

The tips offs are...

Tim Hortons with justices of the peace at 4 am? I wish. That would be pretty awesome.

Eloping? I may be in love, but I'm not stupid. It's too soon for that kind of commitment. I mean, hell, I'm still trying not to freak at having an ACTUAL boyfriend.

Monogamy? RIIIIGHT. The whole "who needs anyone else?" part especially. It's unhealthy to try to have one person in your life fulfill all your needs.

Starting a family? Oh dear god, no. I really don't want kids, and if I ever change that, they won't be from my loins. I won't be responsible for passing on bad genes.

And to those who have slept with me, you know I hate cunnilingus at the worst and vaguely enjoy a few seconds of it at best.


So, yes, I'm still in DC. I'm still presenting at Frolicon. And I'm still going up there mid-April.

God, I'm so tired, but I just had to tell you all the good news.

So last night, after talking to morningboon on Skype, we realized we couldn't hold out any longer.

I threw some clothes in a bag, got myself over to National Airport, and flew up to Toronto.

Where I was met at the airport by a blue coated Boon, who swept me into his arms, kissed me, and took me to the bus.

Wherein via the Red Rocket, we proceeded to a special 24 hour Tim Hortons... and eloped at 4 am. Yeah, I bet you Americans didn't know that 24 hour Tim Hortons in Toronto all have Justices of the Peace, but it's true! It's the one place in Toronto you can get married in the middle of the night.

That's right, folks. We tied the knot, and got free double doubles and donuts. :-) Pictures are forthcoming.

And since I figured it was going so well, I promised myself to him and him alone for life. That's right, we're monogamous! No more random play with strangers for me! Who needs other people, when I have everything I could ever need right here.

We're trying to decide whether we want to start a family today or tomorrow. Thoughts?

Probably tomorrow. We're exhausted from all the cunnilingus.

I have been born again.

I've found the error of my Evil Homosexual Ways(TM) and have decided to turn away from the teaching of sexual education (which, we all know, is really the teachings of Satan and his vile and perverse pleasure) and am returning to the faith of my youth and have decided to join a convent. The Sisters of Perpetual Austerity. They have a convent here in DC, so I won't have to move far.

However, I am going to have take a vow of complete silence. So you won't be hearing from me any more. It was wonderful to know all of you, and I'll pray for all of your souls.

-Postulate Mary Elizabeth Katherine.