I'm realizing that I'm not fully honest in my writing and I want to challenge myself to do what I haven't ever done before… write what my life is REALLY like, completely uncensored. The problem is, I don't want to show how I feel as some horrible afflicting mental illness (even though, frankly, it is), I want to just incorporate the intense moods as just part of my daily life… because they are. I think that's a far more accurate way of showing my life than isolating an episode and talking about it.
I've always been afraid of really expressing what goes on inside my head. Part of it is lack of ability to really communicate it… I don't want people to not get it… I need to get it right. Another part is… really, I don't want people to think I'm crazy. Rather, I don't want to be viewed as crazy and interacted with as such. I want to be treated like anyone else you know, but possibly with a bit more cultivation and care.