(x-posted from FetLife, sans a quote someone wrote on there that I haven't gotten permission to x-post)

Sometimes the calling to be a sexual educator can be REAL frustrating.

For example...

If I have to tell kinksters/BDSMers/Leatherfolk ONE MORE FUCKING TIME that there's nothing wrong with having fetishes, and there's nothing wrong with BEING someone's fetish, so long as at the end of the day, the person fetishizing you treats you as a person, as a human being, and not just a hunk of meat... well... if I have to say this one more god damned time, I swear, my head will asplode.

So you know what? I'm going to say it again. And the next time someone pulls the "I hate it when people see my ___________ as a fetish. I want to be seen as a whole person, not just for ___________" or the "________ chasers creep me out", I'm going to point them in this direction.

I think the problem is fetishists have a tendency to get so wrapped around their fetish (which, btw, is part of what MAKES it a fetish and not just a predilection) that they forget there's a person inside. I think in the end, all these people that don't want to be someone's fetish... they really don't care if they're someone's fetish. They just want to be treated and thought of as a person, as a human being, and quite rightfully so.

So... yeah. Ethical fetishists, or people who sit down and think critically about their sexuality, or perhaps one might like the phrase "feminist fetishists" better, remember that the person is indeed a person first and treats them as such. It's the OTHER fetishists that give us a bad rap.