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The suckage is having to leave morningboon. Which was obvious suckage.

The awesome, however, is flying Porter Airlines. No hassles, a 2 min. ferry ride, VERY friendly staff, no waiting, a large lounge with complimentary beverages and snacks and a great coffee machine, free wifi, and even some Macs set up around with free Internet... and they're not set up special to block you out of using programs and stuff. In fact, I'm looking out at the airstrip now, writing at you on a Mac. All in all, I feel pampered... glad to be here instead of having to suffer the indignities of air travel along with my mourning of leaving morningboon.

I'm heading to Newark (EWR), and then heading to TESFest. Apparently I'm speaking on a panel of sex bloggers. I don't think of myself as a sex blogger, but I do write about sex, BDSM and gender in my diary here. (I'm realizing I haven't written about it in a while. I'm going to have to remedy that.) And it's technically a blog. I'm actually kinda excited about my volunteer shifts. I'm doing the panel, I'm taking care of the People of Size Swim, and I'm DMing for 4 hours.

I'm lucky that I'm going to a con after leaving morningboon. It's a lot better than me just going home to be alone and lonely. I'm going to spend days with my friends, doing something I love, and that's good.

So yes... I'll see you all at TESFest. If you see me, say hi! Hugs and snuggles are always good too.

Tonight's the Trans Pride March. Here's the sign I'm carrying.



And, yes, the rainbow part was done in glitter. :-D

Taken yesterday near the salon in the Village. It's PRIDE! :-D (I'm going to make this pic into my new default icon)




This morning, after shower and styling. I've always wanted to be able to do my hair this way! (That and I love the smell of Goth Juice hair gel and I wanted to be able to use it in my hair.)

I did it. I finally went out and cut my hair off. I blame morningboon for making me follow through with it. (It was scary. I like the cut, and it suits me, but I don't know if I like it FOR me. Except I hate the back.) I'm looking forward to streaking it red and fauxhawking it and spiking it. I got it cut in the Gay Village (Church & Wellesley) at a place called Ho's. Yeah, I know. I was getting it done and the gay boy next to me started talking about getting a Pride haircut and I told him how I was getting something dykey because I was tired of people thinking I was straight and he was like "Oh, yeah, LOTS of people get Pride haircuts."

Pics below.









I kept freaking out tonight seeing my reflection. I'm also worried that I cut off the only pretty part of me.

How does one convert when one's own spirituality already embraces multiple faiths? I know, sounds like a sneaky answer, but it's true. To anyone who's read my journal for a long time, you know that I have a habit of learning about religion, taking what works for me, and doing it. You also know I have a habit of not BELIEVING anything or having any kind of FAITH, but rather worshipping because it feels good and right to me. Much the same reason I have sex or do BDSM. (Although I think I actually have more beliefs and faith in sex than in religion. Go figure.)

But those who've been reading for a while know that I wasn't raised that way... I was raised Roman Catholic. 9 years of Catholic school (K-8), 4 more years of church every Sunday in high school, and always being active in the Church, including 9 years of altar serving. How/why did I convert then? Well, I began to realize that I only believed because it was what I was taught to believe. When I started to really think about it on my own, I realized... no, I actually DON'T believe in these teachings. I believed that Jesus, who some call the Christ, if he existed at all, was a good man who did some pretty cool things and had some amazing teachings. But do I believe that he's my Lord and Savior? No, not really. Do I believe I need a Savior for my immortal soul? No. Do I even believe in a Soul? Uncertain, leaning towards no.

For a while, I tried really hard to be a hard Agnostic. No spirituality, no church, no rituals, nothing like that. And it sucked. I was empty, I was lonely. Then again, it also was a very difficult time in my life. But after a while, the Mass called me back, for the beauty and the familiarity, not for the content. And I met miscreeds and I learned more about his faith, Judaism. And I realized that it called to me too. And so I started incorporating teachings and rituals from other faiths into my life. And through following that path, as the years went by, I learned more and more about other faiths (because learning about religion is fascinating), and it brought me to where I am now. An eclectic who believes in little, but feels much. I'm actually at a point where I'm curious about Islam (yes, it's due to watching Little Mosque on the Prairie).

Hmm... I like that. "An eclectic who believes in little, but feels much." It's much shorter than my formal title, which is "Agnostic Spiritual Humanist with Unitarian Universalist and liberal Jewish leanings who also derives spirituality from the Roman Catholic mass and Pagan ritual".

I made poutine. Nom nom nom. (Possibly the best bad-for-you food in the world.)



And, yes, those are real cheddar cheese curds. One of the advantages to living in Canada is that you can actually GET them at your local supermarket.

AND ZOMG I'M EATING IT AND THE CURDS ARE *SQUEAKING!* YAY! IT'S *REAL*! (Well, ok, if I want REAL, I'm going to have to not buy "poutine sauce" and rather go to Quebéc and get some from a street vendor. But STILL. I was told squeaking curds are the sign of "real" poutine.)

I didn't quite get the proportions right. Too much gravy and cheese, not enough fries. And I didn't make the gravy hot enough to melt the cheese. But that's ok. Something to work towards next time.

I know I can't be the only one who had this problem, and asking the (admittedly cute) chick at the Apple store at the Eaton Centre didn't help (her answer was wrong), so here's how to get at YOUR iTunes account when you're visiting a different country.

So I'm an American and I use my AOL account to access the iTunes store. But when I'm on my boyfriend's computer up in Canada, it doesn't give me the option to use my AOL account, namely because it's showing me the Canadian iTunes Store. So I just can't buy, right? No, I also can't DL album covers and do other things like use Genius. Well, here's how I get it to let me use my AOL account to sign it... I force it to use the US iTunes Store.

1.) Click iTunes Store
2.) Click Sign In
3.) Click "Create New Account" or whatever.
4.) When it gives you the iTunes agreement, there's a link that says something like "if your bank account is not Canadian [or whatever country you're in], click here". Click that link.
5.) It then gives you a drop down list where you choose a country. Because my iTunes/AOL account is American, I choose US.
6.) It then loads the US iTunes Store. Click "Sign In" again.
7.) Sign in to your account.

Let me know if this works (or doesn't work) for you for countries different from the US and Canada, ok?

I just watched an episode of Voyager about ancestors and family stories and the like. Whereas I'm skeptical about "many of the records from the 20th and 21st centuries are lost", I do realize the importance of putting down our families' stories for posterity. Through my studies of Colonial American history via my mom, grandparents and Colonial Williamsburg, I know there's much we don't know about life in the 18th century because people never thought to put down the mundane details, because, well, they're mundane. So I thought perhaps it's important to put things down about my family here, for the record. I'm already working on getting our genealogy, our family tree up on Ancestry.com (which is why I'm bringing the Family History book to Canada with me... lots of time to work on it), and Ancestry CAN hold stories and pictures, but I thought here, I can share it with people who know me, as well as give some perspective to this journal.

( About My Parents )

I know that was a lot to read, but I hope it was informative. And I hope it gives you a better view of who I am as well.

It's raining right now, but it's soothing to me instead of depressing me. The sound of the water from the rain dripping out of the gutters and into the maintenance area outside my bedroom window, the occasional flash of lightning or the crash of not-too-close-but-not-too-distant thunder... it's quite nice, really. (BTW, note the mood on the post. Isn't that a nice mood to feel?)

I just watched an episode of Star Trek: Voyager (The Disease, to be exact) that dealt with new love and loss as a co-plot. The way that Harry Kim and Derran Tal felt about each other... I see a lot of morningboon and I in that. The episode made me feel lovesick, but in a nice way. I have to admit, I put our last names with Starfleet ranks... they sound good that way. I gave him Lieutenant, I took Ensign for myself. I bet he'd look absolutely dashing in a jumpsuit. I haven't decided whether to give him red, yellow, or blue green. I suppose yellow would be fitting, but I think I'd be a blue green.

I leave for Toronto on Sunday. Still so much to do, but I'm more worried about spending so much time up there. I had my last DO Happy Hour before I go tonight. Luckily, T. and A. were there. I love those 2 so much and I hadn't gotten to see them since before I left for the last time. I'm going to miss my friends terribly. I hope I make some new friends up in the Great (Not So) White North soon.

Well, not so much an experiment, but a declaration.

I've finally figured out the trick to making tuna melts that taste like my parents' (or, I suppose, like tuna melts at all).

You wanna know the trick?

THE TEMPERATURE OF THE PAN.

I've basically learned that, no, you shouldn't just always crank everything up to high. High will not make it cook any faster. Well, it DOES, but that's the problem. It cooks too quickly. The outside burns and the inside never gets heated.

So, yes. When making tuna melts, turn the heat/gas onto medium. Melt your butter in the pan. Assemble the sandwich. Fry the one side, while putting the butter on the other side. Flip (that's kinda tricky too. Doing it quickly is the trick.) and wait for the other side to cook.

So yes. Now I can successfully make a tuna melt. If you'd like the recipe sometime, I'll put it down.

http://www.boingboing.net/2009/05/01/et-tu-pooh.html

In other notes, I am going home on Monday. :-(

Went to the DevianToronto munch, BENT tonight, maybe Kinkalicious next weekend (I'd LOVE to go to all the workshops... esp. the Midori ones... I've always wanted to take one of her classes)... lots going on in the Scene up here. Now all they need is a dedicated club. (Poor folks have to keep looking for a home.)

Yay for Kink in Toronto! (I need to make a kinky Toronto icon. :-) )

And now the cherry blossoms are blooming here in Toronto.

I'm going with morningboon to see them, as I would have done a month ago in DC if he was here at that time.

morningboon + me at the Spacing release party last week. Picture taken by the awesome Rannie Turrigan. (Click on the pic for the Flickr page for it where you can get various sizes of it.)

I look out the living room window over the trees in Rosedale, on Sherbourne Avenue, and I notice that today, a number of them have green leaves on them. None of them had them yesterday. There was one tree in yellow yesterday, but now we've got yellow and green and still some bare ones.

w00t! Spring!

Oh, and the tulips are in full bloom here now. These couple of days between 60 and 80 degrees have really helped.

Spring seems to come between 4-6 weeks later here than it does in DC.

Remind me to blog about what I've been up to. In short, WoW (Noblegarden is the suckiest holiday I've done on there so far), Corner Gas, Honest Ed's, subspace (the party), needles, subspace (the headspace), grocery shopping (including late night browsing at Metro), cuddling and dancing and just good times chilling to swing music in Christie Pits Park at an impromptu memorial service to Frankie Manning put on by local swing dancers, Mass at Our Lady of Lourdes, Little Mosque on the Prairie, birdies, copious amounts of double doubles, snuggling, the library, way too much good food, and lots of making out. Oh, and Spadina Bus and Romantic Traffic.

And, yes, that was the short version. :-)

I really miss my friends. :-(

Tonight there will be drinking and meeting up with yaksman. But now, writing in my journal in an attempt to pull myself out of my funk. (You know it's bad when I'd rather clean and tidy and sort than go outside. Srlsy.)

I'm going to put on some clothes and go wandering. I think I want to get to know Yonge better. Know it as a coherent street instead of just X thing is at X random place on Yonge. I'm thinking wandering up to Bloor, getting a double double (ah, what the hell, go caf this time), wandering west over to Yonge and then going south from there.

I really should blog more often. Blame the twits for getting me into Twitter moar.

Oh, and I love morningboon. Just thought I should throw that out there. Yeah.

Went to IKEA at Sheppard and Leslie (NEAT station art there!), rode random streetcars, had Indianfoodplex, explored a bit of the PATH, had Korean BBQ again, did late night Pizza Pizza after drinking (apparently not the one that the King of Spain works at, because it was crap as usual), partied at the Spacing.ca's Toronto Newest Issue Release party. Got to meet the mayor of Toronto there. Seriously. Awesome guy, great mayor. He seems to actually care about his constituents and about making his city great. (I'm not too crazy about his positions on guns, but hey, you can't win them all. And there are more important issues, like housing and transit.) And he Twitters as @MayorMiller.

But yeah, met lots of urban and transit hipsters at the party, got much kudos for my downtown TTC lines sweatshirt. Finally got the Spacing TTC station buttons. Didn't spend enough time geeking out over transit with others, but I got to dance to good and extremely varied music (from Little Lulu's "To Sir With Love" to Outkast's "Hey Ya") with morningboon, drink Canadian beer (didn't really like Molson's Canadian, but this supposed IPA [I've never tasted an IPA with that few hops before] from Nova Scotia was drinkable in that cheap, blue collar piss beer way), and make some new friends (waves at the lovely, same sex male, half-Canadian half-American couple we met last night) and met some of Boon's old friends (waves at his Science Communicator friend as well... she was awesome).

I know I've done more than this, but I can't remember it right now. Depression is kicking my ass pretty hard.

So much to do today to get ready for Toronto. Files to put on my HD (anyone know what to dump from the iTunes directory so that I can put it on another Mac and trick it into thinking it's my iTunes at home? 1.) I want my music but moreover 2.) I want the abiilty to sync my iPod Touch. I was just going to put the whole thing on there.), dishes to dorat cages to clean (wow, with the kind of litter I'm using now and the ShopVac, it turned from a 15 min serious ordeal into less than 5 minutes and EASY AS FUCK), laundry to wash, suitcases to repack with clean clothes and my speakers from the bathroom (can't live w/o them, I figured out when I was up there before. NEED MY MUSIC IN THE SHOWER.) and tasty treats from the US (yay Grandma Utz Potato Chips! I may love Canada, but they don't know how to do chips up there, sorry.). I'm waiting for my meds to kick in so I can get it started. I can feel it starting to, but I'll give it another couple of minutes just to make sure.

UPDATE: ZOMG I forgot how I felt on a full "work" dose of my meds. HOLY FUCKING CRAP. I can FOCUS. I become FUNCTIONAL. I totally forgot what functional was like... I didn't realize how bad I was until I took 12.5 mgs. HOLY CRAP. WOW. Just... yeah.

I guess this means I need to find an anti-depressant that works with my meds.

I can not get over how awesome this is. I'm all hyped up like a chihuahua when its owners come home from vacation.

Ok, let me tell you the story behind why this is even more awesome than it seems. A few weeks ago when I was in Toronto, morningboon & I, in our crazy NRE for the city, were coming up with a Boom De Ya Da about the city herself. You can be damn sure that "I love the Red Rocket" was in there. We were singing it and working on it while taking the subway.

And then, today, I get an IM from morningboon: YOU ARE PICKING UP MY ABILITY TO REMAKE THE WORLD: http://improvintoronto.com/2009/04/04/subway-sing-along/

Yes, that's right, people in Toronto singing a subway related Boom De Ya Da. Did they hear us singing and decide to run with it? Did great minds think alike and they came up with it independently? We may never know, but here's the awesome.

I seem to be drawn towards not just sexual education, but an outbranching of that... creating community. It's not enough to inform people about their options when it comes to sexuality. Sexuality alone is wonderful, but sexuality together is even better. It's important to create spaces where individuals with something in common can gather and create their communities. Where they can know they're not alone, where they can flirt, debate, ask questions, and make announcements.

It is because of this that I seem to be drawn to making FetLife groups. Occasionally, I find a space in the community where we're seemingly lacking a group for a niche. When this happens, unlike many people, I'm careful to making sure there's not a group already in existence. When I determine there's not, I go ahead and create the group. This is why I've made groups as diverse as Technosexuality, Fat Admirers, and even a group for the town and surroundings of Saskatoon, Saskatchewan.

I know the importance of community. The people in it benefit from it immensely. They make friends and lovers that can last a lifetime. But I also know the debatably even more important role that community can play. Its role in society at large. The more open and visible a community is, the more it helps those who are the target of the community, but are not part of it for whatever reason. Time and time again, there are example after example of people who are different for whatever reason who feel like they're the only one. It happens to geeks. It happens to queers. It happens to kinksters. And then they find a community for them. Perhaps it's online. Perhaps it's the Gay-Straight Alliance at school. Perhaps it's TNG. But whatever it may be, they're suddenly no longer alone. And maybe they're not ready to make that big step of coming out to others. They may not be ready to post on a forum, or go to a meeting or a munch. But in even SEEING that there's others like them out there, they know they're not alone. They're not a total freak of nature. It can help them get over the shame, it can help build their self-esteem.

morningboon is just at the point of coming out in the Kink community at age 33. I only imagine how his life might have been different had he known about the kink community in any of the other towns and cities he lived in. Because they're there. And even if he never would have participated in them, at least he would have known he wasn't alone. He would have known where he could go to for support.

Our communities are far more important than we realize. People who dismiss them as just places to cruise and shoot the shit don't realize how much just simply their being OUT there and accessible gives back to the world around them.

And THAT'S why I create community.

God, I've missed the Crucible.

God, I've missed my friends.

morningboon + me MUST get a vacuum bed.

Must get wax again. And give to Boon.

Giving needles to newbies brave enough to get them RULES.

HOORAY FOR YES, AND! I think this is MY new approach to the Scene as well.

Must get Midnght talking to Boon. So that Midnght and I can play and so that Boon can learn from him. (God, Midnght is HOT. WANT TO FUCK.)

IHOP after the Crucible rules.

Always bring your keys with you. Especially if you think you're not going to need them.

Thank SPADINA I accidentally forgot to lock the back door today when I was oot and aboot ootside.

Canadians rule, but I had many moments tonight where being an American was where it's at. There's something to be said for being loud, rude and rowdy. And having a good ol' fashioned good time.

But now it's 4 am and I miss my lover. I wish I would have gotten laid. And the only thing that was missing from the Crucible (other than food) was morningboon's presence. And for me, that was sorely missed.

Oh, and cuddling is ALWAYS good. Same for hair pulling and being at someone's feet. *le sigh*

I apologize to the people I actually fooled in my last post. I wanted to make it blatantly "not me" enough that you wouldn't actually fool with it. However, the well wishes I received are still sweet and wonderful and I'll still apply them to the relationship I DO have. :-)

The tips offs are...

Tim Hortons with justices of the peace at 4 am? I wish. That would be pretty awesome.

Eloping? I may be in love, but I'm not stupid. It's too soon for that kind of commitment. I mean, hell, I'm still trying not to freak at having an ACTUAL boyfriend.

Monogamy? RIIIIGHT. The whole "who needs anyone else?" part especially. It's unhealthy to try to have one person in your life fulfill all your needs.

Starting a family? Oh dear god, no. I really don't want kids, and if I ever change that, they won't be from my loins. I won't be responsible for passing on bad genes.

And to those who have slept with me, you know I hate cunnilingus at the worst and vaguely enjoy a few seconds of it at best.


So, yes, I'm still in DC. I'm still presenting at Frolicon. And I'm still going up there mid-April.

God, I'm so tired, but I just had to tell you all the good news.

So last night, after talking to morningboon on Skype, we realized we couldn't hold out any longer.

I threw some clothes in a bag, got myself over to National Airport, and flew up to Toronto.

Where I was met at the airport by a blue coated Boon, who swept me into his arms, kissed me, and took me to the bus.

Wherein via the Red Rocket, we proceeded to a special 24 hour Tim Hortons... and eloped at 4 am. Yeah, I bet you Americans didn't know that 24 hour Tim Hortons in Toronto all have Justices of the Peace, but it's true! It's the one place in Toronto you can get married in the middle of the night.

That's right, folks. We tied the knot, and got free double doubles and donuts. :-) Pictures are forthcoming.

And since I figured it was going so well, I promised myself to him and him alone for life. That's right, we're monogamous! No more random play with strangers for me! Who needs other people, when I have everything I could ever need right here.

We're trying to decide whether we want to start a family today or tomorrow. Thoughts?

Probably tomorrow. We're exhausted from all the cunnilingus.

Dreams about escaping Nazi internment camps via hard core social engineering... yeaaah. I guess this is what happens when, late at night, I talk about where I grew up and what it was like for me there and leaving and coming back and then leaving again.

Still. *2* "escape from Nazi place" dreams in one night? Yeah.

At least the guy in the first one made it out. At least it looked like I was making it out in the 2nd one.

So my case manager calls me. After getting a letter saying I need to get recertified this month AND after getting a letter saying, no, we're upping your benefits.

He, a guy whose social skills are hella low (god, *I* have better social skills than this? How did you get your job?), said "if you're getting benefits more than 3 months, you have to come in for a work program. I'm not sure why your old case manager didn't do this for you." Well, maybe because she was too ill to be competent? Yeah, that'll do it. (I almost wish I had her back.)

So I learned my options (half like pulling teeth) and I think my best one for right now is spend all the money I have on my card (probably between $300 and $400) and let them drop for a few months and then get recertified and worry about the work program later. 'Cause my life is just too busy to deal with this right now.

Yes, my mom'll be pissed. Oh fucking well. (Besides, everything else is falling apart, why not add this to the list?)

GOD DAMN IT I NEED A DOUBLE DOUBLE (DECAF. AND, OH, WHAT THE HELL, MAKE IT AN XL.) AND A DONUT (CANADIAN MAPLE. AND WHAT THE FUCK, GIVE ME ONE OF THOSE CHERRY CHOCOLATE DELIGHT ONES) BAD. GIVE ME MY TIM HORTONS!

TAKE ME BACK TO CANADA! (This has been my motto the past week. Especially when I see Americans being stupid Americans. Well, at least it got laughs out of miscreeds and rob_t_firefly.)

(See, THIS is how the Canadian gov't convinces people to come back to Canada. They're in cahoots with Tim Hortons. It's a vast right wing left wing Canuckistani conspiracy! You try the coffee and the donuts and that's it, the cravings are so bad, you're forced to return. So THAT'S the secret of their tourism bureau!)

(And, yes, I'm sorry I'm rambling about Canada so much. I wouldn't blame you if you ignored my LJ for a while. Someone needs to take me away from the Inters, shove my ass outside or something.)

Aww man! The duty free allowances for bringing alcohol into Canada suck!

There goes trying to get around the LCBO's 2 to 3x the American price markup/"sin tax". (A bottle of Boone's Farm Sangria was like $6 and change Canadian. This is just wrong. [And any comments about how drinking Boone's Farm is just wrong will be automatically forwarded to /dev/null.])

I don't get it. For being such a liberal place, having a "sin tax" on alcohol doesn't make much sense. I guess America doesn't completely suck.

Take yesterday's post entitled Nerves and apply it to today. He was too busy (and scared, the poor dear) to do it yesterday.

I'm trying not to let it crash me. Or the horrible dream I had last night.

In other notes, God, the soundtracks to Katamari Damacy games are awesome. /me jams out to Wanda Wanda and wishes I could find that torrent file that has the soundtracks to Damacy and We <3 in it, as I don't have all of We <3.

Hey... there's no leak... I was messing with the filter last night and I figured out some of the water was coming out over the top of the mechanism, down the plastic piece that holds it to the side of the tank, and out onto the floor!

YAY! (Of course, I find this out after I switch my fish over to a big plastic tub temporary tank. Oh, well, this gives me a good opportunity to clean the gravel and the tank really well.)

At least now I don't have to get a new tank. Or sealant. Or haul ass out to Bethesda in the next day or so.

My last post, on getting emergency contraception in Toronto, brings up a good issue. You might know the sexual laws and norms where you live, but do you know them in other countries? I went to Toronto, had a buttload of sex, some of it being kinky. I realized I had no idea what the BDSM laws were in Toronto/Ontario/Canada. If the cops come to the door on a noise or domestic violence call, should we hide the BDSM stuff? Should we just let it all out and let them know the truth? I realized I didn't know about emergency contraception. Or abortion laws, should something really bad happen. I figured you could just buy condoms at the drug store. But what if I want to get on some other form of BC? How about sex clubs? What's legal and illegal for them? I mean most have the rules posted, but it's still good to know.

So, yes, sexual education for what you need to know to have a good sexxin' time in a country other than your own. I mean, I've fucked in France and in Germany and in Poland and now in Canada, but these things are good to know before you go and fuck. And I realize that my blog has international readership (/me waves at the non-Americans reading!) so... if you went to America, would you know the laws? Or even for Americans, if you live in a liberal city, would you know the laws if you went to a conservative area and fucked there?

So I decided I'm going to do some research and add a few new classes to my class listing. One will be called Fucking the Maple Leaf and another will be called Fucking the Stars and Stripes. And it'll be about what you need to know about having sex in other countries. Maple Leaf will obviously be about having sex in Canada, and Stars and Stripes will be for non-Americans having sex in America.

So now that I'm depressed and anxious, I thought it might be nice to write about something fun to take my mind off of it.

So... lushing.

If you've talked to me either during or since Toronto, you might have heard me say that Boon + I have invented a new sex act. We named it lushing, after the company that makes the main ingredient in the act, namely Lush.

How do you Lush? Follow these simple steps.
( 1 Find a partner 2 Get a Lush massage bar 3 Get a protected horizontal surface 4 Get nekkid! 5 Rub each other down 6 Rub up against each other! )

So that's lushing! Try it out, let us know how your experiments went, share it with your friends.

Now if only we could get Lush to give us a cut of their profits for each bar we sold... hmmm... ;-)

So being a responsible adult fucks up your plans sometimes, but it doesn't come back to bite you in the ass (usually) as much as being irresponsible.

Like, if I could have my way, damn skippy either I'd be in Toronto right now or morningboon would be in DC now.

Or, say, like this morning. I woke up to find that my 10 gallon fish tank has sprung a leak. And now the carpet's wet as half of the tank's contents is on the floor.

Do I have money for a new tank? No. (You wanna fix that? I have PayPal. At my gmail account.)

So I get to haul my ass out to Bethesda and get some sealant or put a new tank on a credit card or something. When if I have to haul my ass anywhere, I'd rather be hauling it to Toronto. (Farther than Bethesda, true, but better. I mean, I like Bethesda, but still.) I don't want to deal with this right now. (WAH!) But I really don't have much of a choice.

And I woke up to this. Drowsy and depressed already from my Doctor taking me off of my new antidepressants which actually seem to be working some. (It was interacting with my Adderall. Making my heart race. So I was just like "So I won't take the Adderall, or we'll taper the dose on one or the other to make it work." But no. He wants to pull me from BOTH and go send me in to make sure my heart's ok when NOT on the meds. Which it is. And which I don't have time to deal with right now. [See my post about April schedule being crazy.] Argh.) (OTOH, I'm now realizing how much the antidepressant worked. Not as much as I'd like or need, but more than I thought.)

So yeah, being a responsible adult sucks sometimes. But you know what? I think in the end, it's worth it to have the fishies. I do <3 my fishies.

(And on an aside, apparently it's easier to import my rats into Toronto/Ontario than it is to import my fishies. Or at least the information I need regarding it is much easier to find. Because they're currently transferring power over fish from Fisheries and Oceans Canada to the Canadian Food Inspection Agency, which handles other pets.)

So, yes, being responsible sucks.

I'm home. It feels a bit surreal.

Now I get to talk to my housemate tonight about long term plans.

It's funny, this feels like home again, but I don't want it to. I want Toronto to feel like home. (morningboon tells me not to worry about it and that I worry too much. He tells me to enjoy Spring which seems to have begun to sprung while I was gone. I'm always a little surprised and shocked when Spring comes. I get rather used to Winter, as much as I detest it.)

It will be nice to see my friends again and get my laundry done and finish up my Frolicon presentations (anyone want to hear them for free? Let me know and I'll get you in on the Skype chat when I rehearse them) and get packing for Frolicon.

Speaking of seeing my friends... who's free when?

(And what is up with seeing double with this monitor? Granted, I do sit about 2x more away from it than is probably normal, but it's the only monitor I know that my eyes go fuzzy on w/ less than a 10 hour straight session.)

I'm currently taking a bit of a break from being emotionally/romantically polyamorous. Hence the me changing my "relationships in" from "polyamorous" to "in an open relationship". Both me and morningboon have recently had rather difficult breakups and neither of us are really in a place to be open to the vulnerability of being emotionally/romantically poly. So I'm taking a bit of a breather from looking for relationships right now and I'm letting this thing with morningboon take me where it will. And, really, it's rather nice to not have to worry about looking for Mr./Ms. Right for a while. This doesn't mean I'm not open to playing and being affectionate and having sex with other people. It just means I'm not looking for anything that might involve falling in love or a more formalized relationship. Scene friends, FwBs, fuck buddies, cuddle partners, and more are always welcome. And, of course, any previous relationships of whatever type I already had with friends from before are grandfathered in.
:-)

(x-posted from my FetLife)

You may be wondering why the previous post is friends locked. Well, through the magic of the Internet making it a small world, not to mention the geek community is smaller than we think, apparently a previous post of mine started some drama with morningboon's ex-girlfriend. That she decided to pull me in on. Apparently I can't trust everyone reading this journal, as it was a friend of a friend informing her type thing. Which makes me sad, as I'd like to think I could trust my readership. In the next few days, I'll be culling my friends list and posting friends only for a while on posts that deal with Toronto, morningboon or our relationship in a big way. This includes pictures of the 2 of us together. Don't worry, if you come here for the geekery or the BDSM, you'll still get that as much as I can. Anything that isn't dealing with morningboon or my relationship with him will stay unlocked, because I am still committed to proving to the world that I am not ashamed about who I am and my life.

If you'd like to stay on my friends list, or be added to it, feel free to leave a comment or drop me a line. Whether or not I add/keep you is at my discretion. (If you're a good, dear, close friend of me in real life, you don't have to worry.)

I'm doing it on Monday morning. My bus leaves at 8 am.

Honest Ed's is one of the most awesome places in the world. It reminds me of a cross between Ollie's and The Williamsburg Pottery, with a dash of Pechin's thrown in. (And a little bit of Gabe's, if you count the clothes.)

Not to mention the place holds a dentist, a hair cuttery, and an immigration specialist. Also not to mention the awesome story of "Honest" Ed Mirvish and how he brought theater to Toronto.

My dad would love this place, not to mention his (deceased) father. And my mom would appreciate it as well, although not have the fondness for it that Dad and Pap Pap would.

BTW, they carry an amazing array of souvenirs at ridiculously low prices. Damn near everyone's getting something.

There's a damn good chance I'm leaving Toronto on Thursday Friday, going to NYC, spending the night (or a few nights) with miscreeds and coming home. FYI.

Toronto is really awesome. Except for the cold weather thing. (God, the next time I'm invited to go to Toronto in the Winter, someone stop me, ok?)

Canada is exactly like America... except when it isn't.

Tim Hortons? GOD IN THE MORNING. Double Double & Canadian Maple, plz. Speaking of which, Canada's large coffee is a little bigger than America's small. SRLSY.

Canadian Tire = awesome. Canadian Tire money = hella cool.

Dude, why does Toronto have such a high concentration of hot geeky guys? I must have seen like 5 yesterday in like 2 hours or so.

ZOMG herodotusjr THEY HAVE CADBURY'S CRUNCHIE. I AM SO JEALOUS.

Korean BBQ = TAAASTY.

Oh, and the TTC is pretty neato. Their subway font is fantastic. And streetcars are cool.

AND ACTIVE SURPLUS IS THE WINNINGEST AWESOME THAT EVER WAS A STORE. Seriously, asciilifeform and winterroseasfr would totally squee and die over this place.

Lush is awesome.

Giving an incredibly tense someone a full body massage using almost a whole Mange Too Massage Bar is really awesome.

Taking what's left, slipperying up yourself, and then rubbing against each other until in a state of utter bliss and giggly happiness is one of the best damn things on the entire planet.

And then having slow, teasing, intimate, sensual lovemaking? Oh god. No. Fucking. WORDS.

YEAAAAAH.



Have I mentioned I love this country? And this city. And morningboon's pretty freaking awesome, too. :-)

Is it Thursday yet? :-D

********************
Leave Thursday, March 12, 2009
American Airlines 4740 Economy | Embraer RJ140 (ERD) | 1hr 5min | 215 miles
Operated by: AMERICAN EAGLE. Please check in with the operating carrier.
Depart: 10:00am Washington, DC Washington Ronald Reagan National (DCA)
Arrive: 11:05am New York, NY New York John F Kennedy Intl (JFK)

Change planes. Time between flights: 1hr 10min

American Airlines 4766 Economy | Embraer RJ140 (ERD) | 1hr 45min | 352 miles
Operated by: AMERICAN EAGLE. Please check in with the operating carrier.
Depart: 12:15pm New York, NY New York John F Kennedy Intl (JFK)
Arrive: 2:00pm Toronto, Canada Toronto Pearson International (YYZ)
Total duration: 4hr 0min | Total miles: 567 miles

**********

Return Tuesday, March 17, 2009
American Airlines 4772 Economy | Embraer RJ140 (ERD) | 1hr 35min | 352 miles
Operated by: AMERICAN EAGLE. Please check in with the operating carrier.
Depart: 10:25am Toronto, Canada Toronto Pearson International (YYZ)
Arrive: 12:00pm New York, NY New York John F Kennedy Intl (JFK)

Change planes. Time between flights: 1hr 59min

American Airlines 4679 Economy | Embraer RJ140 (ERD) | 1hr 16min | 215 miles
Operated by: AMERICAN EAGLE. Please check in with the operating carrier.
Depart: 1:59pm New York, NY New York John F Kennedy Intl (JFK)
Arrive: 3:15pm Washington, DC Washington Ronald Reagan National (DCA)
Total duration: 4hr 50min | Total miles: 567 miles

********************

NOTE! I will NOT be bringing my cell phone with me on this trip. (I don't need the roaming charges.) If you need/want to reach me, please just email me. I will be bringing my iPod Touch with me and will be checking mail regularly.

Posting the twitter feed of that day to LJ.

Yes, I know, I know, it's the trendy thing to do. Everyone's doing it now. But here's why I don't like it.

1.) If I wanted to read your twitter, I'D READ YOUR TWITTER. I have a Twitter. I even use it occasionally. And if I wanted to read twits (I don't care if they're called tweets), I'd read them on twitter.

2.) Often times, for the people who use Twitter to communicate with specific people via @Username, you read half of a conversation. And it rarely makes sense, as, hell, these are MY friends we're talking about here.

3.) Twitter is a different format from LJ. LJ is for blog posts, lengthy rants, decent sized writings. Twitter is for little blurbs, SUPPOSEDLY about "what you're doing right now" (see the words above the post box on the web interface). When I read LJ (which I rarely, RARELY do anymore, 'cause I don't need the drama), I want to read POSTS. Not blurbs.

Please, keep your twitter to your twitter. Or at least have a way for me to opt out of having my friends list cluttered up by people's twitter posts.

EDIT: I think I need to clarify myself here. I'm not saying I don't like Twitter. I actually DO like it. I've found that it's a bit like writing haiku, having to express yourself in 140 characters. I've also found that it's great for work because you can't spend an hour writing a Twitter post... it's short and sweet and then you go back to your work. All I'm saying is that I don't like Twitter ON LJ.

It's rant time!
( Rant About BDSM Community Politics Inside )

(NOTE! If you want to leave a supportive comment, that's fine. But PLEASE don't try to talk me out of my ideas or trash me. I've heard it ALL before and I'm not interested in hearing it any more.)

(x-posted on my FetLife account)

I've come down with the cold. This sux.

NOTHING, however, will keep me away from the Crucible tomorrow night. SRLSY.

Off to try to sleep some more. I hope the meds kick in soon.

I need a FAIL icon.

I am fascinated by accents and dialects. I always have been. Not exactly sure why, but the regional differences in language are just so cool to me. (So if you hear me pointing something out in your speech, don't be offended. I'm just most likely fascinated.) Somehow I found myself on the Wikipedia page for Central Pennsylvania accent. And I'm going through it, reading all the examples, catching the ones I do, catching the ones I didn't realize I did, and going "no! That one's more Pittsburgh!"

Having grown up in Central Pennsylvania, I don't do as many as some (perhaps even most) Central Pennsylvanians. Part of that is definitely education and schooling, as I always prided myself in speaking properly, unlike the (what I considered to be) unwashed masses around me. However, part of that is because my parents are not from Central Pennsylvania. They are from Southwestern Pennsylvania, and have parts of the Pittsburgh English accent (my father more than my mother). So I learned how to talk from people with the Pittsburgh accent (as well as, I'm sure, from the television.) And taking trips out to Southwestern PA as a child, I picked up on the obvious differences in dialect that my relatives spoke.

That being said, if I have to assign a dialect to myself, Central Pennsylvanian would probably be it. Certainly not Pittsburgh. I say "soda", not "pop", thank you very much. ;-)

So my accent is a mix of Central Pennsylvania things ("redd up" for "tidy up", although supposedly that's also found in Pittsburgh, although I never heard it out there), a few Pittsburgh things (I say "gum bands" instead of "rubber bands", I call it "kibassi" which is similar to the "kolbassi" of Pittsburgh, which is actually the Polish word for kielbasa), and a distinct lack of other Central PA things (the first time someone said to me "It's all", meaning "it's all gone", I was totally confused.)

And the truth is, there are many similarities between the Pittsburgh and the Central Pennsylvania dialects. But there's also plenty of differences.

And I love figuring out boundaries and who does what. Like, my mother's parents spent their teenage years and most of their adult lives in Washington, PA, which is in the heart of Southwestern PA. They say "warsh" instead of "wash". I honestly don't remember what Mom and Dad say. But I know I say "wash". The funny thing? My housemate, who is born and bred and has lived in the DC area all his life... he says "warsh". I always associated this with Pittsburgh and some with where I grew up. Huh. (The thing is, there's actually a large transplanted population of Southwestern Pennsylvanians where I grew up. But most of the people I grew up around were natives.Some of my parents' friends were from the Pittsburgh area, though.)

And I remember reading a fascinating article on tiny little accents and dialects of the Chesapeake Bay, ones that are totally dying out because they were so specific to an area and now people are moving out and interacting with others more. I mean, some of these accents were just 2 towns or a peninsula or an island.

And then there's my ex winterroseasfr. He grew up in suburban southern North Carolina, but originated from Appalachian stock in the heart of West Virginia. He said he trained himself out of the Southern accent as a child, but some of the words he uses are very hillbilly Appalachian American. Like calling his family and relatives his "kin" or his "kinfolk". (It's actually kind of cute and sweet.)

And then there's little things that I didn't even know was dialectical. Like "catty-corner", which means "on a diagonal to", usually "on a diagonal corner of", but not always. (ex. The Kuhn's house is catty-corner to our own.) Used this once with herodotusjr, who's from the Chicago area, and he had NO IDEA what I was talking about.

So what dialectical region are you from? Do you speak the dialect? Are their words that you use and you realize and you're ok with? Are their parts of your dialect or accent that you use and you don't like and you'd like to get rid of? How did your parents' accent or dialect affect your own? I'm curious to find out what other people say.

So no one's staying here for the Inauguration. I've got place for 3, maybe even 4 people. You want a free place to stay to come to town for this historic event? Let me know. Hell, even if you don't go to any of the inaugural stuff, this town is going to be a HELLA HUGE PARTY. (Just a thought.)

Oh, and as a bonus, if you're kinky, Mid-Atlantic Leather is in town this weekend too.

So... who wants to come?